For my school project at University of Santa Monica, my goal is authentic self expression and to DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO CREATIVELY WITHOUT FEAR OF REJECTION (Easier said than done!)
In order to really share my thoughts/ideas, I am challenging myself for the month of May to teach myself more filmmaking and editing - including this SNL audition above. Even though I have made films and things before, I have been very intimidated by the technical side of things and I realized this misbelief does not serve me and is an ILLUSION OF HELPLESSNESS since everything can be learned!!! It took me over 30 years to figure this out!
So anyway, I had this very bizarre audition I made a year and a half ago for the television show Saturday Night Live - right when I came to LA after being in Indonesia for 2 months in an ashram. This video was just sitting in the abyss of my computer in a folder graveyard along with screenshots of beautiful moths and downloaded Facebook photos of boys I had crushes on growing up who did not age well and their gross wives, and so the point of this story is ... I decided to take the plunge and edit this on iMovie (my program of choice) to share it with you on Youtube. I only did a little bit of editing but this was a big start for me!
When I made this audition, it was July 2017 and I had just come back to America, and moved into an eerily affordable castle in Studio City that my friend found me on Craigslist. There are apparently a few castles on Craigslist if you are ever looking! It was owned by 2 soap opera stars who fought on a regular basis and had 4 yipping elderly chihuahuas who barked incessantly but I only learned that after I arrived.
My (then) manager at the time told me I had 4 days to come up with an audition tape for Saturday Night Live and I said YES because that was actually a childhood dream of mine to be a character on a sketch show (MadTV and In Living Color and You Can't Do That On Television were honestly my favorite TV shows growing up and I would cry laughing covered in Dorito crumbs on my couch because they were so politically incorrect and hysterical - way more risky than Saturday Night Live in my opinion, but SNL also has many moments of genius...)
Even though being on a comedy sketch show was a childhood dream of mine, the thought of actually moving back to NYC to be on SNL (in 2017, right when Trump became president) seemed like a nightmare as I had no interest in going back into the cold weather and poking fun at President Trump all the time, which is exactly what SNL became! It is not that Trump does not warrant comedic poking; it is just that comedy is not fair when it is only poked at one demographic like it is on most television (ie. "Trump fans", "out of touch white people") which is why I personally have spent the last few years figuring out how comedy can actually be a tool to bring people together rather than make people feel smug and superior (which I believe most mainstream late night shows/sketch shows do...if they have to answer to their advertisers/funders like ALL mainstream TV channels have - NBC, FOX and otherwise!)
It is only when we are able to poke fun at everyone/everything equally, including ourselves that true freedom and progress can happen - and I think this was the same mindset my dad had in his comedic pursuits. From spending so many months with him before he passed away, I learned he was continuously jaded and frustrated by trying to change the outside world to see things his way and I was that way too before I learned that I can only change myself - it is not up to me to force the world to change even though I think I know what is "best" (ie. ending wars and pollution/releasing Free Energy/etc)
I now accept that I can only make what I find funny/amusing/important and trust that the right people will resonate with it. It also helps to be able to film/edit your own videos so you can share your ideas with more people!!! I have decided I would rather be an imperfect creator than a perfect thinker of ideas so here we go! Enjoy!