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Circa Now / Samantha Pleet / Jewish Rosaries Hanukkah Party

2009-12-09T13:55:00.009-05:00

WHY THE BLURRINESS? IS THIS A MOSSIMO TSHIRT CIRCA 1998?

Circa Now, Samantha Pleet & Carlen Altman

invite you to join us
this Friday, December 11th 6-9 pm
to toast the first night of the Festival of Lights!

Samatha Pleet Sample Sale
Jewish Rosaries 15% off
Circa Now Merchandise 20% off

at CIRCA NOW

238 EAST 6TH ST!!!

Mulled wine, minced pies, prizes & gifts!

Mazel Tov!

Friday night from 6-9 I hope you will come share in the JOY OF JUDAISM AND CONSUMERISM (same thing?) at the CIRCA NOW SAMANTHA PLEET x JEWISH ROSARIES™ Holiday Party!

All Jewish Rosaries™ items will be 15% off! I am making room for my new collection which should be available shortly! I am so excited! Hope to see you Friday!
There will be EMO MINCE PIES by SAMANTHA PLEET!

PROOF OF EMO mince pies by samantha pleet! WOWOWOWO!

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne to use up all drugs in Mexico

2009-12-08T13:05:00.003-05:00

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
thanks Max

P.S. I was googling the word "Supplier" for my Business Model updates and I found this on Wikipedia as the definition for "Supplier" (see the last definition LOL)

Also why does Wikipedia need $7.5 million dollars?
Look at this noble contribution!

Tonight (Tuesday) : GIGGLES

2009-12-08T14:41:00.004-05:00

TONIGHT IS A COMEDY SHOW BY DON STAHL . (i made the flyer. WHO CARES?!)

GIGGLES show tonight is featuring:
JEFF JENSEN (Of Comedy Masters Earles and Jensen, Just Farr a Laff - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wiXTt1Ca_E)
JAQUELINE NOVAK (Hilarious http://www.jacquelinenovak.com)
MYQ KAPLAN (Award-Winning Comic, Live at Gotham - http://www.myqkaplan.com/)
AND
ANDREA ROSEN (Variety Shac, Crazy Commercials- http://www.varietyshac.com/)
Hosted by DON STAHL
Post-Show Party Music provided KEVIN PEDERSON playing all kinds of JAW DROPPERS

See you there!? ITS FREE. WHAT ELSE R U DOING? DONT U LIKE TO SMILE AND/OR LAUGH? (eww)

WINTER FASHION DREAMS

2009-12-08T02:34:00.009-05:00

Sometimes you imagine an outfit and you imagine that your life would be perfect in this outfit! Here is my perfect life winter outfit!

1) Black leather jacket with white Shearling ala Rick Owens

2) Perfect dark gray jeans

3)...with this Chanel heart bag

4...and these No. 6 brand black shearling lined shoes

(maybe this would look stupid with the jacket but SO WHAT?!)
I HAVE A PERFECT LIFE IN THIS OUTFIT SO WHO CARES?!
NOT ONLY THAT!
I also have a plaid daily planner to organize my perfect life in!

THIS DREAM CAN BE A REALITY
AND SO CAN YOURS!!!

Awkward Links

2009-12-08T02:38:00.003-05:00

The Fatshionista (look at those sexie skinnie jeans)
Jabba the Hut throws up from Pizza Hut (by LTH)
My girlfriend is pregnant is baby drinking blood?
Vulva LoveLoveley (thanks Tom)
Children Diarrhea Tea
Goat Yelling Like a Man (thanks Eric)
Awkward slutty Jamaican dancehall woman
Original Surprise Kitten

HOMELESS MAN UPSTAGES HOMELESS WOMAN

2009-12-08T02:32:00.003-05:00

HERE IS A VIDEO I SHOT IN THE SUBWAY.

MY PARENTS

2009-12-07T23:46:00.002-05:00

I went to Miami and got back yesterday. It was okay. Here are 2 videos of my parents that I just made. I have finally learned how to use iMovie!
MOMMY HAS TURTLE BABIEZ

DADDY YELLS AT A GUARD AT A RETIREMENT HOME WHO DOESNT WANT HIM TO HAVE HIS DOG ON A LAWN

So Much for Ed Hardy Condoms !

2009-12-01T12:27:00.002-05:00

I emailed them the idea with the sketch I made and they just wrote back. Ho hum!

Gossip Corner: HOT CHICKS ON A CRUISE

2009-12-01T01:56:00.016-05:00

My friend Lisa just got back from a cruise she took with her new life partner, "Barb," a chicken McNugget that she met on a dating website. Lisa and Barb had never met before deciding to elope on Los Titanicos™ Cruise Line (not a contributor to this blog).
Below are pics from their surprising sexy getaway!

CONGRATS U 2!
HOPE YOUR ROMANTIC GETAWAY WAS FUN!
WE'RE ALL DYING TO KNOW, WHAT CAME FIRST? CHICKEN OR THE EGG.. !
"hyelllooo"
UGH SOMEBODY STOP ME. NO SERIOUSLY WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

ED HARDY CONDOMS

2009-12-01T00:31:00.003-05:00

WHAT IF YOU MET ME AND ASKED WHAT I DID AND I SAID I CREATED ED HARDY CONDOMS? WOULD U LAUGH OR CRY?

WELL I JUST DID! do you like them?

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT
ED HARDY ROOFIES COMING SOON!!!©

NEW DOODLEZ

2009-11-29T02:51:00.006-05:00

HERE R SOME DOODLEZ OF DESIGNER HERMIT CRABS THAT I DELIRIOUSLY MADE AT 5AM . HELLO DEITCH GALLERY I AM WAITING 4 U

NSFW Corner: Best Animated GIF Ever

2009-11-28T02:44:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when I am staying home on a Friday night doing work (looking at Casual Encounters/going on Last Night's Party) I wonder if I am missing out on happenin' parties such as THIS?
WHY IS THIS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN?
(thanks Semen Sperms)

(I guess this post answers my question in the previous post - ie Doody wins!)

I WUV TECHNOLOGY: "WHAT THE FONT"

2009-11-27T22:10:00.007-05:00

Have you ever seen a cool font used in a magazine or website and wanted to figure out what font was so you could use it yourself? Well, the future has arrived and now you can do it in 1 click, using a free website called WHAT THE FONT!

For example, I really LOVE this Marlboro cigarette-esque font below used ABOVE in Women's Wear Daily but had no way of figuring out what it was - until NOWWW! All I had to do was scan the front of the magazine and uploaded it to WHAT THE FONT and it showed me exactly what font it was! (Clarendon Bold Condensed)

WHAT THE FONT even comes as an iPhone application so you can use your iPhone to photograph a font you see on the sidewalk or at the peep show and automatically find out what it is!

I WUV TECHNOLOGY!!!

PORTFOLIO VERSUS CORNHOLIO???

2009-11-27T01:36:00.003-05:00

I have spent the last 48 hours (46 hours this + 2 hours Fleshlight) trying to teach myself how to create a new website. Do you like it? I am changing it from yellow to black when I figure out how...
I wanted something that looked a little more professional.
But now I sort of think this new blog might be a mistake!
Why? It dawned on me that most people have 2 websites - one portfolio type website where they look professional and businessy with a "BIOGRAPHY/CLIENTS/PORTFOLIO" section; and a separate website for their blog, like this is, where they can put up silly Youtube videos of fat people yelling, and write blogposts about a sample sale that nobody cares about...

Well, I am sort of scared because I tried to combine the "professionalism" of a real blog with the inappropriate beastiality links of a personal blog! So now I probably seem like I am "selling out" to the people who come here for my blog; and I probably seem super crazy and unprofessional to anyone who is at this site for another reason such as googling me for my acting or jew-elry.

I'd like to think though that anyone who would be alienated by the contents of this blog - even if they are a position of power (such as a boss or grown-up or constipated Japanese businessman) is not someobody I would want to know anyway (ok maybe the business man so i can hear him on the toilet!) But is that true? I sort of feel like if you want a part of me, you have to take the whole package (e-Crabs and all) - Is that so crazy? Or should I make some separate website to use as my professional "calling card" where "The Man" can go and judge me for my merits and keep this separate without worrying about people finding links like this?

I think I will use this as my main website for everything - and if someone doesn't like it, they're probably not someone I would want to know anyway!! AHHH... I DON'T KNOW!
THERE'S ALWAYS CARLENALTMAN.COM!

Why am I even writing this? How boring!

Inaugural Vaguely Pretentious Blog Post

2009-11-27T00:34:00.010-05:00

I doubt rainbows enjoy anal sex - so how did they become the spokesperson?

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

2009-11-22T03:21:00.000-05:00

i want to make a new jazzed up blog
i will figure it out - until then, all my links and stuff have been deleted woops
but theyll be back! just letting you know
CRY CRY CRY

PEDOPHILES VERSUS PETOPHILES

2009-11-21T14:59:00.004-05:00

This morning after I jumped rope, I walked past a Dog Run and saw a baby French Bulldog that I WANTED TO PLAY WITH!

Unfortunately, THIS sign was on the fence of the Dog Run

WHICH IS TOTALLY THE ANIMAL EQUIVALENT OF THIS

PEDOPHILES VERSUS PET-O-FILES!!!

P.S. I WENT IN TO THE DOG RUN ANYWAY AND TOUCHED THE BABY FRENCH BULLDOG! AND NOBODY STOPPED ME!

WHY MUST I CRY???

2009-11-20T01:52:00.004-05:00

REH DOG IS MY NEW FAVORITE ANGEL.
According to his Youtube page, "This music video is about a man whom befriended a fatherless ghetto boy. The boy stole from him time and time again. This video also speaks of a man who fathered twins with a woman he felt no love for. This song is highly emotional and it's not about how well the singer is it's about expression of hard times..."

CAN YOU FEEL THE PAIN ? ARE YOUR EARS BLEEDING WITH HIS SORROW?

Reh Dog has a Youtube page of all his "random thoughts" such as this his views on metrosexuals and his hatred "idiot moron fool" Al Sharpton ..

THANKS MY ELDER SOULMATE ARI COHEN, founder of Advanced Style.com !

Hologram City

2009-11-18T10:54:00.012-05:00

...is a really great website that my friend Joana of Delusional Downtown Divas is contributer.
HologramCity has no words! Instead, it contains a hodgepodge (who says that word outloud?) of very satisfying images with a focus on goths, models, architecture, consumerism and elders. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?
Each image is a visual treasure. See a few below...

WORDS ARE OVERRATED.
Go to HologramCity now
P.S. THE SINGER FROM THE PASTELS IS THE PERFECT BOY!!!

NSFW Special Friday the 13th Links

2009-11-13T01:32:00.005-05:00

These links get worse and worse as you go down the list.
NSFW = NOT SAFE FOR WORK
Pretty much none of these are!

Hot.Boots - a website for men who like boots

Larry, the webmaster of Hot.Boots

Fleshlight The Fleshlight was designed by former police officer (and SWAT team member) Steven A. Shubin who was going through forced abstinence while his wife was in a high-risk pregnancy. He was granted a patent in 1998 for his invention, as a "device for discreet sperm collection".

CONFUSING FLESHLIGHT VIDEO GAME? (nsfw)

Depressing Fleshlight Review from a man with a collostamy bag

Tricked Into A Nightmare!

Mediocre Links

2009-11-05T18:11:00.003-05:00

1) Baker-Miller pink color reduces aggression in jail
2) Proof that this pink color works!
3) Wendy's Restaurants Rap Training Video
4) Redheads protest Wendy's(i wish this was real)
5) A cheerful apartment
6) Think Big! Seriously! You Can Do It Too!
7) Old Lady Dancing to Soulja Boy Walk It Out
8) Guinea Pig Dancing to Soulja Boy Crank That

Wouldn't It Be Nice If We Were Bolder...

2009-11-05T15:41:00.004-05:00

Hello! I am back for only a short moment to let you know about something really kEwL!
My cerebral palsy Dan Meth made this super special Beach Boys Black Flag shirt above.
It is so on point and really helps me achieve the dreams represented in this blog post so much without compromising my hatred for loud noises!

ORDER YOURS HERE! I AM A WOMEN'S SIZE LARGE.
HEY IT'S THE WINTER! I STORE FAT, OKAY?

Me Hosting Tom Tom Magazine Benefit Show

2009-10-31T18:05:00.004-05:00

Tom Tom is a magazine about female drummers,, I want to see a baby play the drums right now. So sue me! This video is awkward. What else is new!?
I also want to go to the movies.

MORE QUALITY BLOGPOSTS COMING SOON! (WHO CARES?!)

Abandoned Island!

2009-10-22T11:14:00.005-05:00

There is an abandoned island called North Brother Island which is right near New York City!
I really want to go visit it. How spooky and special. Anyone have a boat?
You can see all sorts of abandoned buildings on WebUrbanist.com.
If I could spend a month visiting abandoned places, I would!

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